My friends Kim and Jang

I know I am abit late putting this up and I apologize from the bottom of my..well bottom :)
But I must tell you all about my friends Mr Kim and Mrs Jang! No they are not married to each other but they were very naughty 2 weeks back and got caught by me in the Kitchen with the mixing spoon.

In Korea anywhere from the 1st week of November to the last week is a time called 김장 ( Kimjang) Were anyone who is remotely a Korean woman gets in their cars drives 5 mins to the supermarket, and buy enough cabbage to feed a small African nation, a good 4 kg of garlic ( to keep their hubbies unwanted hands off them) fermented little shrimp ( because they can) super expensive Asian pears ( honestly sugar is just as good!) fermented anchovy juice/soy sauce ( smells vile) and weird arsed leafy greens which I have no idea what they are called in English... where the prices for radish and cabbage is dirt cheap but the price of dried chilli flakes shoots through the roof. Honestly it's ridonkulus the price of 1 kg of chilli flakes! I almost shat my daks when I saw the price at Emart! $20!( and that was the generic brand.. the others where from $25 - $52!!!) I was bloody glad I didn't have more than 5 cabbages at home otherwise I would have totally screwed my budget up!

That plus buying 새우젖 (funky fermented tiny shrimp thingees) and 잡쌀 (glutinous rice) was no meager feat either. Where is usually they are piss cheap and it's the fecking veggies that are bloody expensive!

And thus this is how Mr Kim and Mrs Jang got caught making out in my kitchen.. in a huge bowl .. need I say more.

Now I have never in my life EVER ( I need to stress this) attempted to make this much Kimchi without a) my MIL or b) any Korean woman. My hubby was as much use as tits on a bull but at least he helped me towards the end.

Our conversation went like this:

Hubby: Um .. what are you doing?
Me: I am going to make Kimchi.
Hubby: *Doubtful look on his face* "Are you sure you can?"
Me: Sure! I watched the cleaning lady make it at school on Thursday.
Hubby: Ah ha.. right I will go look up a recipe.
Me: I don't need a fecking recipe. I watched her, she told me what to stick in it.
Hubby: Right I know a good website.
Me: Oh piss off.

This was the Saturday morning. I went and got my beautiful leafy babies out and laid them on the ground

Now what you have to do its attack these little beauts with a huge knife, and cut them into halves, then halves again. So essentially quarters.

Now these little cabbages are dirty little minxes and needed a bath. So I gave them a good scrubbing and then rinsed them ( get as much excess water out of them as possible and then bang a WHOLE lot of rock salt over then and let them soak over night)

Then I went to sleep^^
The next morning they turned into well this

Now you have to rinse these again to get rid of all the salt and then squeeze the shit out of them. Because NO one likes runny kimchi! :) Well actually if you don't squeeze the excess water your kimchi is going to be swimming instead of "floating"^^

For the next stage you must make a '풀' kind of glue with the Glutinous rice as it binds all the chilli flakes and everything into a delish goo. It doesn't matter if the rice hasn't all dissolved into nothing-ness as long as the grains mush up when you rub them between your fingers.

Then you get some radish and grate it finely. I used 2 1/2 big ones because I have 5 huge arse cabbages.
To that I added a big bunch of 깢 ( weird arsed purple leafy goodness) and mixed it about.

I then blitzed up 1 kg of garlic and one Asian pear

( ok this is the second lot of garlic as I honestly didn't do enough the first time >.<) To the radish, leafy greens, garlic and pear I added about 3/4 kg bag of chilli flakes, 1/2 jar of 새우젖 without all the extra juice, a 1/4 - just under 1/2 c of anchovy fishy juice, hubby added a handful of salt ( eeek) about 3 tbsp of sugar and mixed it all around then added the rice paste

I was having so much fun that my son decided to join me...

( See Mum, I can even use my feet!)

Now there are no photos of me rubbing the paste all over, in and around the cabbage as my chief photographer ( hubby) was made to help^^ And my son constantly opened his mouth like a little chickadee and consumed a lot of freshly made kimchi. He was very happy.

Then you bundle it up and bang it in Kimchi proof plastic containers.

Now after slaving all day doing that I was informed that when one makes said kimchi one must also make 보쌈..

boiling of the pork

Searing of the pork

Our feast!!!!

Needless to say I drank soju and slept like a log!

은행 and 어묵 what could be better

Ok so I finally found a recipe that I could actually understand and had the ingredients for ( I added broccoli cos I just love the stuff, reminds me of baby trees)

Anyways what I found was called 어묵과 은햏볶음 pretty easy really.
This is what it turned out like:

If your like me nothing beats "fish cakes" on a cold winter's day while your freezing your tit's off outside waiting for a taxi at 3 am in the morning. ( oh those were the days)
So here is the recipe:

1 packet of 어묵 (fish paste cake/fish cake? I never really know what
to call it)
1/2 tablespoon of sugar
1 BIG arse handful of Ginko nuts
1/2 onion - roughly sliced
4-5 tablespoons of soy sauce
1 tsp of crushed garlic
1 tsp of sesame oil
1/4 c water
1/2 tsp cooking wine ( I used soju*^^*)
1/2 tsp chilli paste
1/2 tsp honey
pinch of salt
roasted sesame seeds
1/2 carrot - julliened

Right first stick the soy sauce, honey, sugar, garlic, cooking wine and chilli paste in a pan with the water. Stir thoroughly on low heat.
Add the chopped up Fish cake and add the Ginko nuts, stir to coat and cook gently until the ginko nuts are soft.
Add the carrot and onion and cook for a further 5 mins. Make sure it doesn't burn!!
Add the sesame oil and sesame seeds at the end and mix well.
Serve as a side dish or as a main.. keeps well for about 2 or 3 days afterwards^^ ( Great with Rice!!!!!^^)

I have a lovely bowl of stinky nuts *giggle*

If your mind was in the gutter when you read the title, then your my kind of person! But actualy I meant to say Stinky bowl of Ginko nuts^^ Or their nom de plume 은행.
Now before coming to Korea I had no idea what these were, or even why they smelt so bad! ( Think baby milk puke mixed with dog pooh and other various faeces and you got the smell...yummy eh!?)
But I was uber curious to see these little old ajumma's toting bags around wearing gloves, picking up these things off the ground. It wasn't till years later ( 5 yrs to be exact) that I actually tried Ginko nuts for the first time in a bar. I think I may have been slightly wasted but I did enjoy them and their smooth texture and interesting taste.

Last week I found out that there were only 20 students at school and 2 teachers and 2 admin staff. That was it !! After lunch we stole down to the schools veggie plot and borrowed some 무 ( radish) and there infront of us was all these Ginko trees. ( queue heavenly music)
Now there had been a few old biddies in the morning collecting all these berries, and there was bugger all left on the ground. So I spied a big ol stick and the others found some rocks so we began to pummel and stone these trees.
I got quite a few Ginko's.. see my stash!?

I had to soak these buggers in warm water to help get the nuts inside. And loooooord did it stink to high heaven.
The conversation I had with hubby was kinda funny

Hubby: Leigh, did you fart?
Me: Ummm , not within the last 20 mins I didn't.
Hubby: What the hell is that smell?
Me: Ah, 은행
Hubby: Fuck, it stinks! Close the door
Me: Ok.

So I spent a few hours coaxing the little nuts out of the stinky fleshy pods and into a baking tin and banged them in the oven to dry out before I could get the yummy-ness inside

Now I have to figure out what to make with them.

C is for Cookie, that's good enough for me!

Ok So I have been super busy *insert - lazy* and I apologise to all my fans out there ( a whole 3 at most^^)

So I was beckoned into the kitchen by my lovely hubby last weekend, waving a packet of M&M's above his head, doing some kind of rain dance.. or so I thought, actually he had just rescued said packet from the sticky hands of our son, and was actually trying to shake him off.
Our conversation went something like this;

Me: Whaaaaat are you doing?
Hubby: Bloody Benjamin had the M&M's
Me: Yes, well you did leave them on the table. He likes Chocolate you know.
Hubby: I know! But you have to make cookies!
Me: Have to make what?
Hubby: Mr Oh wants cookies.
Me: Mr Oh can make his own bloody cookies.
Hubby: But yours are the best in the whole world.
Me: *slapping myself in the face* Ok I will make cookies.
Huby: Can you wrap them individually?
Me: *One eyebrow raised*
Hubby: Oh and put them in a box.
Me: (*#(&^*&#*!&@ sigh.. Ok.

End of conversation.
There was also some crying involved from my son as he wanted to eat the whole bloody bag of M&M's but was super angry when he got 5!

So what actually transpired was this, hubby had been bragging about my baking skills to his work buddies, and they dared him to bring a box of cookies ( man he is gullible) And Mr Oh whom I have never met is hubby's GM thus had the athourity to make him do things, so he asked hubby nicely if I would make them some cookies. Chocolate chip cookies that is.

So I went about looking for a recipe that doesn't involve a shit load of butter, and found a very interesting vegan recipe from myrecessionkitchen
I will try this out this weekend, but I settled for a run of the mill normal chocolate chip cookie recipe ( which I can't remember which one I used) and made up 3 batches of these bad boys

Hubby: Why are they colourful?
Me: Ahhh, because I used the M&M's.
Hubby: They aren't crunchy are they?
Me: Ah, no. Did you want crunchy ones.
Hubby: *sigh* no these will do.
Me: * mentally slapping him around the head*

When hubby returned truimphantly from work he declared in his words
" They are the best ones ever had" ie. They were the best ones they had tasted so far.
I even got a text from one of his workmates's wife saying she had heard that I made great cookies and would like to learn^^
Definitely made my day

Weekend

Well last weekend my son had gone to bed for some random reason at 7:40ish ( I think it was due to the fact that he hadn't had a nap at daycare) and hubby was quietly playing on his PSP and I was all by myself and wanted to do something, make something . So I rummaged around and found this in my kitchen.

Then I rummaged some more and found this

What the hell is that you may ask.. well it's "ingredients" to make soap! Yup I spent my Friday night making soap..and lip balm ha ha Man I am old!

So I added everything into a huge pot, melted it down, added the oils, and smellies and strawberry powder and poured it into my mould like so..

But I had ALOT still left over so I grabbed al the moulds I had and made

( mini dinosaurs for Benjamin..cos he loves to wash his hands)

lips, hearts, flowers and a handbag

(baby apples for Benjamin to take to daycare.)

So my house is now all soaped out! We have soap coming out the wazzoo, but atleast I smell good and feel all squeaky clean. ( Homemade soap feels so much better on my old, dry, wrinkly skin^^)

Oh and my strawberry lipbalm, is smackingly good.
Think I will try and make Banana and cinnamon next when the strawberry is all gone. Though hubby has put in his order for soju flavoured lipbalm.. not sure if I can do that yet!! PLus think he would just eat the thing and get drunk!

Everyone say "Hooooo~~~ddok"

ㅋㅋ Gottcha! Well I thought since it tis the season for change ie Summer to Autumn I decided to whip up a batch of these delish Korean sugary peanutty fried pancake thingees!
Plus Benjamin loves these! And it's really simple.
My friend who will be called "S" has a problem with wheat ( she thinks) and she had sent me a txt about asking what they are made from and said she had a nommy one made made with rice and cornflour. So I thought to myself hmmmm lets see if I can make some non wheat ones too. I had rice flour,, yeast, and all the other ingredients and I set out to make them. However they turned out to be an EPIC fail. They were more like flat sonpyeong with sugary goodness on the inside..DOH. If only I had used both rice AND cornflour.

Well my son was lucky cos I made him a normal lot.. exhibit A

and exhibit B

Hmmm I hear you say whilst licking your chops and smacking your lips together. WEll I will tell you it's easy as pie to make and here is the recipe:

Dough
125ml flour
1 egg
40ml milk
2 tsp white sugar
2 tsp yeast
1.2 tsp salt.
10 ml warm water
Filling
30 g Brown sugar
cinnamon
2 tbsp crushed peanuts

Seven steps away from deliscious-ness on your plate...

Step 1:
Stick the flour, sugar and salt in a bowl. Give it abit of a mix.
In a cup mix the egg and the milk thoroughly, and add it to the flour. Mix this really well to form a dough.
Step 2:
Add the yeast to the warm water and stir it around. Let it sit for a few minutes and then add it to the dough mixture and mix well. Knead for a few minutes, then cover the dough and let it rise for 30 mins until double in size.
Step 3:
Mix the brown sugar cinnamon and peanuts. ( Now I like cinnamon so I give it a good shake or 3, but you can add as little or as much as your heart desires. Though I would say no more then 2 tsp!)
Step 4:
Heat oil in the pan. (Now traditionally Hoddok is cooked swimming in oil! However I don't like that so I make mine less fried!)
Step 5:
Punch down teh dough and knead it ( with a little extra flour so it's not too sticky. Make into 8 balls.
Step 6:
Flatten the balls into a circle roughly the same size as your hand. Add some filling ( maybe a tablespoon) and seal. continue for all 8.
Step 7:
Place balls *haha* sealed side down and cook for 30 seconds then flip them over and squish them flat and cook for 1 min, then turn them again and cook till golden brown.

Be very very very very careful! These suckers are full of hot melted sugar which you can burn not only your tongue but other various body parts when you bite into one and find out exactly how hot it is on the inside and drop it like it's hot. So let them sit for a few mins, or cut them up..

Enjoy.

An ode to 무 ( 깍두기)

Muu, muu how I love thee, though I was buggered if I knew what to make with them when my hubby presented me with these gigantic things!!

But then he commanded me.. "Make me 깍두기( radish kimchi) woman!"
Thus 깍두기 was made.

Now I have only ever made this once and for me I liked it, not too spicy, not too fermented, but my hubby commanded me, I want spicy stuff, none of this pussy foot kimchi you make.
Right, bugger you I secretly thought so I set about a diabolical plan of making the spiciest Radish Kimchi he has ever had!! ( queue evil laughter)

So to start off with I washed and peeled those suckers, then sliced them into about 2 cm slices, and then diced those babies up

Now this is the part where you wash them, salt them and let it stand for 30 mins. Now those 2 big arse radishes made alot of little baby radish cubes so I used about a good handful of rock salt and 4 tablespoons of sugar. Mix them around and set aside.
When time is up,save 1/3 cup of the juice, drain,rinse and put them in a really BIG bowl.

Now for the kimchi spicy paste.
The ratio I used was this
1 onion, 6 garlic cloves, 1/4 Nashi ( Japanese pear/ 배) , 1/4 cup of Fish sauce ( 멸치액젓 not sure of spelling forgive me I get things mixed up sometimes) 4 spring onions sliced .The original recipe called for 2/3 cup of chilli flakes but I stuck in a good 1 1/2 cups ( evil I know!)

Now with the paste you roughly chop up onion, pear, and bang the garlic in your kitchen whizz and whizz the bejezzes about of it ie

Then you add the fish sauce, 1/3 cup of the radish juice, spring onions and the chilli paste, and mix it really really well.

Doesn't that colour just scream " If-you-eat-me-I-will-burn-your-tongue"^^

Then rub that glorious spicy paste all over those tiny little innocent radish cubes and watch them scream.

Typical me pose.. now you see why I don't want to be in photos, I have no dress sense!!

Now if your scared to use your barehands it's ok to use gloves. I had to cos well I had a cut under my thumb nail of all places and chilli and cuts just DO NOT go together. Plus the fumes from the mixing where bringin tears to my eyes, and my son was crouching looking at me, then to the kimchi, then to me again and then fanned his mouth in the sign for spicy^^
Also I found out that when the paste touched my beautiful lily pale skin I got big red rashes!Bloody hurt too!

So my possums that is how I make radish kimchi, though ideally you should leave it out of the fridge for a good day or two, so we haven't tried it yet. Though me being me I did swipe my tonuge across the finger tip of my glove, my tongue fair shot itself back down my throat. I fear my possums I will not be able to eat said creation ...bugger.